Author Archives: Self Similar

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Row, Row Row…

At long last I’ve finally gotten around to playing through Volition’s Saints Row for Xbox 360. I’d been curious about this “GTA Clone” style open world game since before the launch of GTA IV (which I’ve talked about on here numerous times) given that it was one of the first games of this type released this generation. It was also one of the few semi-well received ones at the time – it seemed like Rockstar were the only developers capable of really pulling this formula off for a while there. Volition helped change that.

Every muthafucka here knows!
“Every muthafucka here knows!”

Saints Row really does feel like a GTA clone through and through though. Of course, pre-dating GTA IV and all of the other open world games from this generation, it looks and plays closer to Grand Theft Auto III and its follow-ups, Vice City and San Andreas, than anything else. It actually feels pretty odd to go back and play this now considering some of the innovations it (and later games) introduced into the genre that are now rather common place. For one, Saints Row gave us auto check points before missions and an easy retry option. It’s far from perfect however, as there are no check points for different stages of missions and some of those stages (such as driving to the place where mission ACTUALLY begins) are definitely tedious and highly skippable. Saints Row also introduces an aiming mechanic that feels more like a normal third person shooter than the janky, inaccurate, lock-on nonsense of the GTA games. Yep, gunplay in Saints Row is actually almost kind of fun! I also dug the ability to recruit followers to help gun for you – particular useful for drive-by shootings, of which I am want to participate in rather frequently.

While I’m being complimentary, one of my favorite things about Saints Row has to be the ability to completely customize your character. This has been a major component of the Saints Row series since this first game and in the sequels gets taken even further with picking the voice of your character and therefore voice actor and to a minor degree tone and script of the entire story. In this one, however, it mostly relates to designing your physical appearance and customizing your wardrobe. For comedic effect I made my character look about as close to President Obama as I could manage and later even made him run around wearing an appropriate shirt and tie ensemble. Nah, this wasn’t political commentary, I just find the image of President Obama doing drive-bys in the hood to be rather fucking hysterical. Yes, I’m a horrible person.

RPGs... the real reason to own a convertible.
“RPGs… the real reason to own a convertible.”

As for the negatives, the entire game doesn’t quite manage to muster up anything really resembling Rockstar’s levels of wit and style. This reflects on everything, from the general humor in the world (which is often less on the clever and more on the offensive side) to the less immersive nature of the city of Stillwater. That’s not to say any of that stuff is dreadful but it’s a comparison that I feel has to be drawn. I mean, Freckle Bitches? Come on. The world they paint also tends to ride a rough line between extremely violent and almost comical – I was slightly disgusted the first time I automatically shot someone point blank when I jacked their car. Harsh. Likewise, one time I jacked some random driver and gave them a single, swift punch to the head… you know, to teach them some respect? Yeah, my purple-clad follower ran up to him and proceeded to brutally stab him over and over again with a huge fucking knife until his corpse lay crumpled on the street. Err, wow…

About to fuck some shit up!
“About to fuck some shit up!”

Technically speaking, I fully expected Saints Row to be embarrassingly buggy and unpolished, especially after some of the hilarious glitch videos I’d seen on YouTube years ago. Not so much, really. I actually thought it did just fine other than occasional sometimes severe pop-in issues. I suppose this might have been a benefit of playing the game way, waaayyyy after release after it has been patched, probably multiple times, and we’re now able to load the disc image onto our 360’s hard drives for I/O gains, which I more or less always do these days. Hopefully the engine used in Saints Row 2 (which is definitely in my backlog!) is a little more capable of handling things.

My biggest complaint with Saints Row has got to be whole “respect” grinding system though. In order to start story missions you need to have your “respect” meter filled up which you can do by completing all sorts of random activities scattered around the city. The activities are quite varied and some of them are even quite a lot of fun (Insurance Fraud gets brought up a lot though the Drug Trafficking activities were favorites of mine) but still, the need to have to crank out a few of these between every mission really drew the game out and did awful things to the overall pace. I can kind of see what they were going for by making these things mandatory (forcing you to explore what would normally be optional content) and I bet the design looked great on paper, but in reality it’s all rather tedious. While I pushed through it without too much trouble several of my friends bailed out of the game early specifically because of this grind.

Braaaaaaaaaap!
“Braaaaaaaaaap!”

Anyway, Saints Row was fun. The story interested me even less than I thought it would and the game overall didn’t QUITE scratch that GTA itch like I was hoping for but it was certainly worth a quick visit to. If I had played it back in 2006 before GTA IV and the plethora of other “Grand Theft Auto clones” I’m sure I would have enjoyed it even more. I’ll be visiting many of those other open world games in the near future, including Saints Row 2. I can’t wait!

As usual with Xbox 360 games, I totally jacked all of these pictures. 3rd Street represent!

Braid Your Pitts

I haven’t posted in nearly 4 months. Shameful, I know. I have been gaming a bit though, for sure. In fact one of the main reasons for my lack of updates in the last 6 or 7 months was climbing back onto the vile World of Warcraft bandwagon. I haven’t mentioned it much on here because I’ve been about ready to quit again, once I completed the last of several goals I’d been working on. After that I planned on writing an entry all about my return and what I had accomplished with my time. Unfortunately that last goal has turned out to be a total pain in my ass – expect that post if I finally do meet my goal but I’ve all but stopped again as it is so that seems unlikely.

Braid is goddamn pretty.
“Braid is goddamn pretty.”

I got around to playing Braid on XBLA. I actually played through the demo at around the time of its launch and honestly most of my critical analysis of the awesome, creative puzzle mechanics is probably back there somewhere since I was pretty blown away by them originally. Even blasting past that topic, I loved the art style and absolutely adored the music. Despite how mind-bendingly difficult some of the puzzles might seem to some players (personally, most came to me easily, though I did definitely struggle hard with a few of them) it’s still very worth checking out. Notice how I skipped talking about the narrative? 😉 Seriously though, I actually enjoyed it at first and like what they’re were going for though the end came out of nowhere and didn’t really do much for me. In the end though, it didn’t seem crucial to the experience – how much did the story in any of the Super Mario games (and the comparison here is appropriate given all of the obviously influence and callbacks) ever matter?

I finally finished my run through of Fallout 3 + all of the DLC. I got pretty much all of the achievements I could get in one play through and had a blast. My insanely sporadic playtimes made me come to some odd conclusions about my gaming habits as of late: I’m getting too old for this shit. Seriously, I seem to only want to jump into most games (basically anything I’m either not insanely addicted to, or anything that isn’t extremely “pick up and play” friendly) when I have a couple of hours or more free in one sitting, and even then I have to be “in the mood” which I’m often not after a long day at work or whatever. If it is going to take me a year to finish a decent sized RPG for now on I suppose I’m going to have to stop spending as much time and money on this hobby as right now it’s just a little out of whack.

We're going vault hopping tonight, baby!
“We’re going vault hopping tonight, baby!”

Back to the game though. Obviously I loved Fallout 3 – I mentioned that in my last update about it. How could I not? I loved the original Fallout games and I love the Elder Scrolls series so… yeah? I’m not going to get into a big, detailed review of it or anything but I did want to mention one unexpected surprise: The Pitt DLC campaign. Whaaa? Although I know it often gets praise as being one of the better DLC add-ons for Fallout 3 I don’t remember hearing anything about the whole moral dilemma you’re faced with in it. Hell, maybe I did and simply forgot all about it since then, but in any case… spoilers in the next two paragraphs!

So, the basic setup for The Pitt (I’ll try to keep it fairly general) is that you’re contacted by a runaway slave who wants you to infiltrate the city which is overrun by an oppressive, ruthless group of slavers who force their slaves into working in their factories while they reap the benefits. They also all have some horrible radiation sickness and the leader of the slavers is apparently hording the cure for his very own. Seems straight forward enough and when you arrive as sure enough, sick slaves everywhere and the people in power are stacking the bad karma deck without question. Once you finally infiltrate the slavers and confront the leader, however, you learn that all isn’t as it appeared – the cure is actually a baby and the ex-slave who talked you into the whole thing in the first place is actually an ex-slaver who was forced out after a failed coup attempt looking for revenge. Seems like the situation is getting greyer. Still, why would I want to leave the baby in the hands of these assholes? Plus, who cares if the other guy is an ex-slaver himself, he clearly wasn’t lying about this place being packed with slaves and this sickness killing everyone. I stole the baby and vaporized the leader of the slavers, and most of the rest of them while I was at it.

Fireworks are always better when they're made out of your enemies.
“Fireworks are always better when they’re made out of your enemies.”

The plot thickens. Audiotapes reveal that the leader of the slavers was an Paladin of the Brotherhood of Steel who got stranded there after cleansing the ruins of the city long ago. Hm, well that still doesn’t mean he wasn’t an asshole, I suppose. Left there alone, he built up his gang and the settlement himself including bringing the factories back online. He regretted the slave labor but viewed it as a necessary evil and even planned to eventually set them all free. Hmm. He was also the father of the baby in question and, it’s revealed, seemed to genuinely care for the kid. He also viewed his research into the cure in a philanthropic way – he didn’t seem to be hording the cure at all, it simply wasn’t finished. *gulp* I might have made a bad decision but… well, at least the slaves are free, right? So then I get back to the people I was working for to discover the guy acting like a total fascist asshole himself and implying that the baby was now in much worse hands. It also only took me about 2 seconds to notice that the slave labor still appeared to be in full effect around the settlement – maybe the people in the chains had changed, but still… what exactly have I done here?!

This is one of the most interesting moral dilemmas I’ve run into in a game in recent memory. Most fascinating was probably the fact that I really wasn’t ever asked to make any clear cut, black and white choice on the matter. Sure, I was forced to pick a side but it was before I had all of the intel. Even after all of the cards were on the table it was still a pretty nebulous situation with no obvious right choice… and the fact of the matter is, not unlike after the big reveal in Bioshock, I felt totally played after it was over. Nice!

These guys, yet again...
“These guys, yet again…”

What else? Oh yes, I bought and played Halo 4. I’ve talked about the Halo series on here a lot in the past so I’ll skip the background and the in-depth analysis and just say that 343 Studios did a fine job. It still feels very much like a proper Halo game yet makes necessarily measured steps into new directions. I enjoyed the new multiplayer advancement (for example) though so far I prefer Firefight over Spartan Ops. Most of all, I just enjoyed returning to a universe that I’ve always really enjoyed. As far as that goes though, I might have enjoyed watching Forward Unto Dawn more than playing the actual Halo 4 campaign. *shrug*

Next up is a play through of the original Saints Row, if I can manage to slog through the grind. Oh, and I also started a new blog which I’ve been filling full of random non game related stuff – mostly related to music and just general expressive bullshit. I’ll link to it eventually when I have more content. Hell, maybe I’ll even merge it into this one and make it a little less gaming focused. Stay tuned!

The Tale of Garn Chapter 39

Warning: potential side quest (Mages Guild) spoilers ahead!

From the journals of Garn:

Intrusions

Having acquired all of my recommendations I’ve made my way back to the Arcane University in the Imperial City to speak with Raminus Polus. After officially welcoming me into the guild he’s set me on the task of crafting my own Mage’s Staff – a custom that every newly accepted member of the guild partakes in. I’m somewhat familiar with these Mage’s Staffs – not only have I seen many of the mages across Cyrodiil carrying them but I had to recover one for Ardaline in Bravil as part of receiving my recommendation from the Bravil guildhall. The first step of the process will be to venture to Wellspring Cave for assistance in selecting the wood I’ll be using from a nearby sacred grove.

Not the greeting I was expecting!
“Not the greeting I was expecting!”

I’ve made it to the grove and retrieved the wood with which I’ll craft my stave, however, all did not go as planned. When I first entered the cave I wasn’t greeted by the mages who steward the grove, rather only darkness and an eerie silence. As I crept further in I soon discovered the body of a mage illuminated by the flickering light of fallen torch. Lying next to the mage another body – one that I suspected by her garb to be that of a necromancer. I continued through the cave and found it to be in quite a ravaged state, as if the intruders were searching for something. Intruders there were too – I encountered and fought several more necromancers until finally reaching the exit to the grove. As I cautiously slid the door open I saw another mage fending off three more attackers. He looked wounded and was obviously outnumbered so I immediately sprang forth and entered the melee. While I slew them all I was unfortunately too slow save the mage.

Necromancers!
“Necromancers!”

Raminus seems deeply troubled by my recount of these events despite appearing to be attempting to hide it. He doesn’t discuss the situation with me further and dispatches me to meet with Delmar in the Chironasium to continue the construction of my staff. I know little of necromancers outside of my own knowledge of conjuration and my limited run-ins with them in my travels thus far – well, that, and that necromancy is outlawed by the Guild. I suppose the matter will be discussed and dealt with by higher ranked guild members. Delmar and I decide on how to fashion and enchant the staff. I admit, the process is fascinating and learning more of these sorts of arts seems like it might make my choice to join the Guild a fruitful one. I’m to collect the staff tomorrow.

Delmar has crafted a fine staff for me. I’ve had it enchanted with a fire spell given my affinity for using such magics and it has a look that would suit a battlemage such as myself if I were to ever decide to wield a staff in combat. For now the staff will make a fine keepsake for my mantle. I return to Raminus to present him with it. Raminus’s seems quite pleased with the results and congratulates me on officially being promoted to the rank of journeyman within the guild. It’s at last finally time for my first real assignment.

Raminus tells me that my next task, while seemingly menial, relates to the necromancer attack on Wellspring Cave. He asked me to travel to Skingrad and meet with Count Hassildor to retrieve a book that the Guild had recently loaned to him. While this struck me a little odd it was, after all, the first thing the council was trusting me with, so I’m preparing for my journey south without lodging any sort of complaint.

It was dusk as I walked into the great hall at Castle Skingrad. I was greeted by Mercator Hosidus, the Count’s steward, who informed me that the Count was occupied and I’d need to, instead, make an appointment to see him on the morrow. The next day I visited the castle again only to be given a similar story by Mercator. This time he told me the Count would see me but preferred to meet me in the fields outside of the west wall of the city at 2 in the morning. Odd, but I assume he has his reasons. I’m rather disappointed by this treatment as I made great haste on my ride here hoping to impress the council with the speediness that I completed my task. Raminus had implied that the Count could be unusual, perhaps this type of thing is what he was referring to. Still, I will see him tonight.

Who called this meeting?!
“Who called this meeting?!”

As I ride up to the appointed area near Tamika’s vineyard, my sword unfastened from my scabbard, I look around but do not see a sign of anyone. I keep my guard up, still suspicious about this meeting place and the unorthodox time. Suddenly I hear Mercator’s voice greeting me from the darkness. A torch is brought up and I see two others with him but no one I could make out to be the Count. Mercator tells me that I wouldn’t in fact be meeting the Count, that he didn’t even know I was in the city, and that I would have to be dealt with for potentially interrupting their plans. Necromancers? Before I have any more time to react I’m knocked from my horse by a powerful spell. I attempt to draw my sword as I try to keep track of the men though through the crops and shifting torchlight. The next moment I hear the sounds of a skirmish unfolding. I quickly find my feet and charge Mercator. The traitorous Imperial had death in his eyes but his dark magics were no match for my Daedric steel. As I finish him I turn to find myself alone in the field with a man looking at me disapprovingly, shaking his head.

Why no, why would YOU have anything to do with the undead?!
“Why no, why would YOU have anything to do with the undead?!”

Dressed in fine plate armor and wearing a strong, if also a little gaunt face, the man introduces himself as Janus Hassildor, Count of Skingrad. He tells me that he’s suspected Mercator as being in league with the necromancers for some time now though he wanted him to reveal who else he might be working with before acting upon his suspicions. He also tells in no uncertain terms that he’s disappointed in me for not knowing that I was being duped by the Guild – I wasn’t sent here to retrieve a book at all but rather to spy on him. With that, he asks me to inform info Raminus to that he is certainly not affiliated with the necromancers and that he does not appreciate them sending someone to him under false pretenses. I have little recourse but to agree, dust myself off, and head back to my inn room for the night.

Arriving back at the Arcane University, Raminus apologizes for putting me in the awkward and ultimately dangerous situation but explains that the council doesn’t completely trust the Count despite working closely with him for some time now – his loyalty had to be ascertained and for that my mission is considered a success. I’ve been promoted to the rank of Evoker and given my next task. It’s not that I have any issue with the idea of spying on the Count but they could have let me in on it at least. It makes me question the motives of the council – what exactly did they think they were sending me into?

I hear there's an alchemist in the Market District with a potion for that!
“I hear there’s an alchemist in the Market District with a potion for that!”

Raminus tells me that he has another task in mind for me. Something hopefully a little less stressful and he assures me that no necromancers will be involved this time. I’m to meet with Irlav Jarol about an Ayleid ruin that the Guild is currently excavating. Irlav fills me in on the details – evidently the ruin appears to be completely intact and while they’ve managed to clear out and map most of the top level, they’ve discovered some sort of magical locking mechanism that has kept the rest of the structure sealed off from the team. I’m to speak with Skaleel once I arrive.

I set off to Vahtacen which is located near the banks of the Reed River to the east of the capital. When I come upon the area that Irlav described I see none of the usual trappings of an Elven ruin – in fact, all that’s here is a muddy, unassuming cave. If it weren’t for the torches and the fresh footprints everywhere I might have never guessed the entrance to the ruin was within. As I made my way through the cave I soon found where the main structure had been breached. Torches light the way until I reach a large chamber where several guild members and other laborers have setup. I quickly find Skaleel who explains the situation in only slightly more detail that Irlav. Unlike Irlav, who seemed largely distant from the project, Skaleel appeared to know almost too much about it, her frustration palpable.

Quite the puzzle - you just have to read the instructions. Why did I join this stupid guild again?
“Quite the puzzle – you just have to read the instructions. Why did I join this stupid guild again?”

I venture into the chamber with the magical locking device. Denel, another mage, explains that they’ve recently discovered that casting spells at the strange pillar like structure in the center of the room seems to be having some sort of reaction though, so far, the reaction has only been in the form of smaller stones in each corner of the chamber coming together to violently shock the caster. I examine the room but it looks like nothing I’ve ever seen before. As I’m leaning against a wall I feel a sharp edge catch my hand. What was this? I wipe away the countless years of dust to reveal the unmistakable shapes that make up ancient Ayleid writing. Denel quickly rushes off to fetch Skaleel who returns with a book on translating Ayleid. As we wipe away more and more of this writing we begin translating. While each message is cryptic at best, they all seem to mention different elements: one fire, one frost, and the other two magicka, though one seeming positive and the other negative. We concoct a plan and soon I’m casting the first spell – a firebolt at the strange mechanism. Success! It moves revealing a hint at an inner chamber. Soon, as we cast all four spells, the mechanism completely moves giving us access to a stairway further into the ruins.

I wish I were an Elf so I could turn into one of these fuckers when I die.
“I wish I were an Elf so I could turn into one of these fuckers when I die.”

As I’m the only one equipped for such potentially dangerous exploration I venture down alone. Like most of the Ayleid ruins I’ve been in so far this one is filled with an unappealing mixture of terrible undead and brutal traps. Still, I’m quite experienced at dealing with clearing out such dungeons by now and soon find myself in what seems to be the main hall of the structure. In the center of the room sits large raised platform surrounded by stairs. This looks similar to the throne rooms I’ve seen in other Elven sites only this time the very center is covered with a large carved stone box. Chains connect it to a number of suspended pulleys and hanging counterweights. There has to be a… sure enough, a switch!

Ouch! I don't often get totally owned but when I make sure I get cool pictures of it.
“Ouch! I don’t often get totally owned but when I make sure I get cool pictures of it.”

I flick the switch and the sound of the heavy chains ripping through metal rings is almost deafening as it echos through the hall. The dust that is thrown into the air is all but blinding as well. I take a step back and find my footing unsure – I’m stepping on something soft and fleshy. I spin and draw my sword – a lich! It raises a minion from the dusty floor and points its ancient gnarled staff at me menacingly. Just then I hear the sound of more undead being summoned. How many liches were in this room? No matter! I summon a Daedra warrior and block a weak blow from a skeletal automaton. The battle is fierce – I bash the head off of the first undead then I hack a lich almost clean in half from his shoulder down to his stomach. I turn to send a lightning bolt crackling into another. Soon they all lay in piles of dusty gore.

The throne area, now accessible, contains what may have once been a rich cache of ancient Elven armor – beautifully crafted and richly decorated though most of it seems to have deteriorated long ago. The helmet seem quite intact though so I’m bringing it back to Skaleel as proof of my discovery. Skaleel is elated at the quality of the item and suggests I immediately bring it back to the University. After imparting some information about the newly explored chambers and saying my goodbyes I’ll set off on my way back east to deliver the good news and the guild’s latest Ayleid artifact.